Something's Gotta Give..

50 Shades of Grey. This controversial topic of the present is being whispered in every street-corner amongst Christians, teenagers, old ladies, and even youngsters.

I'm not one to write about litigious subjects, but I feel that this is such a huge issue in the lives of young people, that it needs to be discussed by someone with an adolescent mind who is whole-heartedly pursuing the love of Jesus Christ.

A lot of my friends have been talking about going to see the movie 50 Shades of Grey, or have read the book and when I ask them what their reason is for reading/watching it, most of them explained that their hopes to see it were of mere curiosity. They heard all of the talk and they wanted to discover for themselves what the book is really about.

Their defense for reading it is this: 50 Shades is simply Twilight fan fiction with a bit of a twist, and that the sexual intercourse throughout the entire book is nothing new to them. They say that Christian Grey in no way abuses or degrades his partner Ana, because she does consent to take part in whatever "sexual needs" he may or may not have. 

Is it right, or is it wrong? (Not just 50 Shades of Grey-- but ALL erotic fiction)

And should adolescents be allowed access to it?

So, to start with..... what is erotica?

erotica

      1.literature or art dealing with sexual love. (dictionary.com)

84% of erotic fiction is read/invested in by females. The majority of purchases in the U.S. are made by women in the South, and most of them are between the ages of 30 and 54. (https://www.rwa.org/p/cm/ld/fid=582)
--I know plenty of high school girls who have both read the book and seen the movie. And I know plenty of girls who read erotica consistently. So what's wrong with it and why do they read it so much?

I've come to the realization that erotica for women is very correspondent to that of pornography for men (that is in no way implying that women don't view porn and men don't read erotica). Both erotica and pornography have extremely similar meanings-- they each are visual representations of sexuality and in what pornography's definition says, "obscenity". And they're each a sin.
 
Instead of fulfilling visual desires, erotica satisfies emotional ones. The appetite to read sexually patent literature isn't all about the sexual intercourse itself, it's about how the female character feels during it-- worthy, desired, and wanted. 

And it's easier to read about the fairytale happy-ending than enduring the heartbreak of reality. In today's world, for teenage girls especially, self-worth isn't found easily. Whether it be obsessing over weight, personality, pretty face, popularity, or the future, it isn't easy to wake up every morning feeling beautiful and valuable. Especially if there isn't a boy in the picture to "fix all of those problems" (which is a completely faulty assumption that the other person should fix our problems, but I see it on a daily basis.).

And now we let ourselves believe that if we love him just a little harder, that maybe he'll treat us better and fall in love with us (because that's what happens in the books, right???). And we let men believe that it's okay to do that to us so long as they do fall in love with us.

Instead of letting sex be the wedding gift that God so perfectly orchestrated it to be, we ruin it by adding degrading tactics to "make it better". Did you know that humanity fell because Adam and Eve took advantage of a blessing in hopes of "making it better"? Do you see the resemblance?

Instead of placing our confidence in Jesus, women as a whole are placing it in fictional characters who play out the roles that the authors compose themselves. Here's a little secret..... when a writer writes, anything they write, has truth that they personally believe in between the lines. So E.L. James is allowing you into her world as she integrates her own personal desires with her fictional book. 

"Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked when it comes, for The Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:25-26.

I know what it's like to feel lonely. And I know what it feels like to feel ugly, and to not think I measure up to anything. I've experienced the consequences of pain and suffering due to pornography and erotic fiction, and you know what? Jesus set me free. He carried me out of the pits of depression and shame and my plea to die, He gave me grace when I deserved to be eternally separated from Him, and He will save you too. He'll be the one there with you at 3 in the morning when you're crying and all alone, He'll be with you when you're walking down the hallway by yourself, He'll be with you when those girls are snickering behind your back, and he'll be with you when that girl calls you ugly to your face. All you have to do is reach out to Him. You don't have to remain imprisoned in the chains of sin and destruction. 

Psalm 118:5 says, "Out of my distress I called on the LORD; the LORD answered me and set me free."

Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life."

And this isn't Christianity alone's issue, this is humanity's issue. 

Because  a 2011 survey conducted by the National Institute of Justice reported that nearly 1 in 5 women in the U.S. have been sexually assaulted. 1 in 4 have claimed to have been beaten by a domestic partner. So out of 16,507 women, 4,127 have been beaten by their equal counterpart. 

And this kind of behavior is written about in books, endorsed even. When one spends money on erotic abusive fiction, pornography, and the likes, one is encouraging the abuse and belittlement of women. 

And telling society that you like it by adding one more person to the list of 100 million other people who have read it. 

So why is erotic fiction and pornography legal for minors? I know for a fact that they wreck lives, because at one time, they had wrecked my own. Why are we allowed to hide behind computers looking at possible slaves and most likely abused women being forced to expose themselves? AND WHY WORLD ARE WE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT IT?! Why don't we educate our children on the dangers of sex trafficking and domestic violence by keeping them in a bubble assuming that they themselves aren't addicted to it? My parents trusted me, I wasn't a bad kid. But they say curiosity killed the cat, and my own curiosity led me down a path of sin that wrecked relationships, esteem, and all thoughts of there possibly being a God. It gave me a temptation that still continues to this day, and I have to consistently die to myself and lay myself down at the feet of Jesus to get through each day to overcome it. Secrets are one of Satan's ways to steal, kill, and destroy. And regarding my life, he almost won. Almost. But he didn't. 

Because my God is the ultimate champion. He's my lover. And pursuer. And defender. He is Almighty. And He never loses.

1 Peter 3:15-18 says, "15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit."

Pornography and erotica are death traps for all people. But I plead with you to check up on your child's history, and deleted history. It doesn't disappear. It might just save your child's life. 

And if you're the one stuck in the addiction that leaves you without air, please talk to a trusted adult about it. I know you might think they're going to disown you, but they love you. They won't leave you alone and they won't let you fight by yourself. 

And neither will Jesus. 

Footprints
Also Known As "I Had a Dream"

One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Margaret Fishback Powers, 1964